So Facebook just rolled out an announcement for an upcoming feature that would provide answers to life’s questions. They’ve listed a number of unanswerable questions on their website like “What are women looking for in a relationship?” and “How did the Beatles reach their success?”

Posters are asked to include “Where relevant, cite and link to third-party sources such as Wikipedia.” Wikipedia! the golden source of all information that is reliable and correct. You all knew Scott Baio was the anti-christ right?

I’ve applied. Here’s the questions and answers I’ve submitted:

What are women looking for in a relationship?
Clearly all women are the same and are looking for the same things. The answer is this:

1 – Money
2 – Babies
3 – Driving Men Crazy.

Anything else is a lie. If you hear anything different on the subject, about how it is possible for women to want different things or that not all of them are the same, they are liars and trying to manipulate men into caring about them. See: Sex and the City.

What are men looking for in a relationship?
Men are all the same. They are looking for:

1 – Good Tits
2 – A great ass
3 – A woman who will please them sexually.

Just as all women are the same, all men are equally homogeneous. If they claim they are interested in anything other than football, they are trying to get laid. See: Men’s Health articles

Why is Facebook trying to take over the Internet?
Mark Zuckerburg is a sociopathic egotist. That is all. See: Wikipedia.

Think I’ll get an interview?